Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
