I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
