She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
