high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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