she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
