I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
