We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
