its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
