its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
