I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
