sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
