Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
