What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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