a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
