I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
