i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
