I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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