I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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