Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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