I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
