nut hugger
Don't make out with my wife yet
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
