He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
