I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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