Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
