the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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