i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
