This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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