I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
