I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just want to make out with him forever
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize