you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
