I am puke
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
