i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So squirting runs in the family.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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