whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
