So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
