where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
