I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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