No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I've blown a few things in my day
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is Oprah even human
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
