So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
