I seem to have left my pride at pride
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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