oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
