nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
