What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i out mim tonsoeep
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
