I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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