Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
