dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
