well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
