And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
