My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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