I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
