ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
