Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
