Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
cat food counts as protein by the way
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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