"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
