He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
