what day is it and did you see me today?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
